What To Teach Them Before They Become Teenagers

Eventually, the concrete will harden.

We only have so much time with our children, and far less than most people realize to help shape their character. Eighteen years old, or when they move out of the house and go to college or some other adventure, is a milestone set in many parent’s minds. But we have even less time than that.

Our kids don’t flip a switch and go from 100% dependent to 100% autonomous. There’s a spectrum. And while it might be different for each kid, that slider really begins to shift at the ages of 13-16.

Sometimes, this is when rebellion happens. Teenagers want to start differentiating themselves, or their lack of discipline shines through in terrible and destructive ways. And here’s where parents make a fatal error. They clamp down. They get more strict. They try to take away the freedom of their teenager because they are desperate for some solution.

But by then, it’s too late. Kids should be given greater responsibility and freedom as they get old, not less. Parents should be getting less strict with their kids as they hit the teenage years, not more. Your role as a parent moves from one of authority to one of influence. It’s a time when your kids start applying, on their own initiative, what they have learned.

To do this properly, however, you have to teach them some things before they hit the teenage years. You can’t stuff it all in a crash course the moment they turn 14. It takes patience and resolve over the course of a decade. The great news is that if you do it right and lean on the grace of God, your kids can shift from being a liability to a real asset, and you’ll be able to enjoy their company for the rest of your life.

So what should you teach them before they become teenagers?