Limiting the Freedom of Teenagers is Pointless
By the time they're that old, it's too late.
We get a lot of things backward. Due to our laziness and apathy, fathers can find themselves in a difficult position once their children become teenagers.
All of a sudden, the lack of discipline is no longer cute. The tantrums thrown when the child was six look downright ugly when the child is thirteen. The disrespect that got a laugh when the child was seven cuts deep into your heart when the child starts to come of age.
And here is where many fathers make a mistake that compounds their past mistakes.
They see their teenager going downhill, so they clamp down. They get more strict. New rules and regulations. More chains. More lectures. The bad behavior becomes impossible to ignore, so they try and stamp it out.
This is the opposite of what should happen as the child gets older.
When your child becomes a teenager, you want to give them more freedom and responsibility and encourage them to exercise more self-control. You want to loosen the reigns, expand their free-range territory.
Instead, fathers go from overly permissive to controlling. The child goes from freedom to lockdown. The father goes from passive to tyrant almost overnight.
No wonder so many teenagers rebel and resent their parents. No wonder they want to get out from under their thumb as soon as possible.
To summarize: Move from strict to permissive. Not permissive to strict.
Examples of freedom
What kind of freedom are we talking about? It will depend upon what your child values and your own house rules. Some are on a graduating scale that expands as they show themselves trustworthy. But here are some examples: