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le Thamisard's avatar

I don't think I actually realised how much of my father had rubbed off on me until I read this article. I've always treated women the way he taught me - I would have said "instinctively", but I recognize it was nurture, not just nature.

My father was apparently dangerously handsome. So says my wife. And the fact that my sister plainly had an immense Oedipus complex, as evidenced by her two husbands who were both years older than our father, lends credence to the assertion.

Hansome is as handsome does. He was always chivalrous, attentive, kind, steadfast, loyal and helpful to everyone, but especially to women. And completely unavailable to any woman except the one whom he told, at 19, "You're not damned well going to marry anyone else" That was his way of proposing to my mother!* I didn't hear this story from him until I announced I was getting married. He asked me how I had proposed, and I said I hadn't actually done so, just taken her to the registrar's office and had her fill out some papers with me. In sales, I later discovered, this is called the presumptive close. My Dad approved. It's how men get things done.

Being gentlemanly and trustworthy, yet unavailable, gets you the pick of the worthwhile women. When you find the one that you are prepared to commit to, you don't have to ask. She will be as ready to commit as you are.

* My mother passed away exactly 1 week before their 67th anniversary. My father died 120 days later. My wife and I are coming up on our 50th.

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