When your child spills their milk, how do you react? Spilling the milk isn’t a sin. It was an accident. But you blowing up and yelling is indeed a sin. Who is the villain in that scene?
Now, your child could have a habit of being careless and this is the third time this week they have spilled their milk. But that is an occasion for learning another lesson and calm discipline. Your temper blowing apart at the seams will only teach them to be afraid of making mistakes.
Some things are straight disobedience. If you have told your kids to take off their shoes and you give them plenty of warning and exhortation. You have been clear and not apathetic. But the next day, they track in mud; that is a clear offense. You should take care of it. But remember that the law they broke was a house law. It wasn’t written in the stars since the dawn of time. If you end up screaming at them because of their infraction, however, then you have broken a greater law and have committed the greater sin.
Don’t try to stomp out a fire by lighting a bigger blaze. Remember their frame. And remember that your reaction is 100% your responsibility.