If you are getting angry at your children, it’s your fault. Every time. All of the time.
If they are doing something you find annoying, or that causes you to lose your patience, who do you have to blame? Who has let them get away with it over and over in the past?
You.
This is how it happens.
Let’s say you want your son to brush his teeth. You tell him.
He doesn’t do it. You tell him again.
Five minutes later, he still hasn’t brushed his teeth, so you tell him to do it again.
After he fails to do it, you blow up and yell and give him a spanking that has more to do with your anger than it does with your desire to discipline and save your son from death.
As a result, you spanked him much harder than you should have. And your son has learned that he can ignore what you say up to three times before there are any consequences.
The first time your son disobeyed, you probably didn’t feel like disciplining him. But that’s the time you should have done it.
Your apathy led to your anger. Your abdication led to the destruction of your own authority.
All 100% your fault.
When everything is going well in your house and there is an aroma of peace and tranquility, it can be hard to break the spell and discipline your child over what seems like a minor infraction.
But you are not breaking the peace. You are preserving it.
It is far worse to let it fester until you erupt and leave your whole house drowning in the stench of your anger.