Cultures vary in their customs, both in doctrine and praxis. Even the same religion can differ as you cross borders. Just look at churches in the Bible Belt versus churches in the Pacific Northwest, or anywhere on the West Coast, and you’ll find different emphases and mores, even in the same denomination. And that’s in the exact same country.
There are commonalities that transcend culture, however. Apparently, we all find some things hilarious, no matter our differences in upbringing and genetics. One study found that there are 3 things that every culture finds humorous at some level:
Twins dressed the same.
Someone falling down a short flight of stairs.
A sudden fart made in a silent environment.
Intuitively, this makes sense, especially the last two. You’ve probably chuckled at both in real life, and you’re probably chuckling a little bit right now thinking about it.
There is another way all cultures seem to be similar. All of them have had different roles for men and women.
Stephen B. Clark, in his magnificent and exhaustive Man and Woman in Christ, compiles and summarizes several dump trucks’ worth of sociological and anthropological research.
1. Every culture has had a sexual division of labor
Every culture divides tasks between men and women. These tasks can change from culture to culture (though there is remarkable consistency), but the division is always there.
The types of tasks men perform across cultures are similar, and the same is true for women. Even in our “egalitarian” culture, women still make up over 80% of nursing staff, and you can find many other obvious imbalances
2. Every culture has defined complementary roles in the communal and domestic spheres
Every culture, past and present, assigns men the primary responsibility for the larger community (government and larger groups) and women the primary responsibility for domestic affairs and the rearing of children.
Men are more outward focused toward the wider world. Women are more inward-focused.
The degree of this differentiation varies from culture to culture. In some, fathers are heavily involved in household life, and in some, women participate more in political affairs. This degree can also change from generation to generation, as we see with millennial dads who spend way more time with their children than previous generations.
But the pattern of emphasis is always the same.
It should be noted that in the past, the household was more central and highly valued, and so even domestic duties involved more participation in broader society and accrued more respect.
3. Every culture assumes some form of female submission to the male
From Sherry Ortner, a prominent American cultural anthropologist and a foundational figure in the field of feminist anthropology: "The search for a genuinely egalitarian, let alone matriarchal, culture has proved fruitless."
The subordination is seen in both public and private life. It is expressed differently, but a pattern exists. Even in matrilineal or matrifocal societies, men are still the overall governing authorities. Women have always been personally subordinate to some male figure (father, husband, uncle).
Even in societies where adult males aren't involved much in family life, this subordination has some symbolic expression.
Again, like everything else on this list, female submission is expressed differently across cultures. But the submission is always there. This tendency makes sense, because if men are to govern effectively, they must also have some authority over the women in charge of the households.
4. Every culture has expressions of gender differences between men and women
These expressions come through in various customs and traditions. Men and women dress differently and are expected to act differently. Even in societies where nudity is the rule, gender differences are expressed through tattoos, scars, or mutilation.
Almost no culture is content with the natural differences men and women are born with. Further distinctions are always carved out. Some cultures have an ideological agenda (like ours) and enforce more androgynous dress, but these cultures still have ways of expressing gender differences.
Reality always asserts itself. If you try to pave over it with concrete, cracks will start to erupt.
So what?
Why does this matter?
All of these commonalities take on different forms, giving the illusion of diversity, and modern ideologues will take this array of differences and claim that gender is purely a cultural construct, and then use that to bludgeon your sons and daughters into the same mold.
But consider expressions of respect and honor and how they differ from culture to culture. For example, in the military, the British salute is different from the American salute, but they both perform the same function. It would be foolish to go around asserting that expressions of respect don’t matter because they are obviously arbitrary, as evidenced by their differences across cultures.
Boys and girls are different. Men and women are different. Proper parenting means leaning into those differences and exalting them where appropriate. If you treat them as if they are the same, as if their sex is arbitrary, you will do great harm. Don’t listen to the harpies.
These differences are good and they are God-given. Through common grace, every culture has recognized them in their own way. You should too.
You can also read Man and Woman in Christ for free online, especially the relevant chapter.
I can’t think of a more timely topic that is desperately needed in our modern western culture. Thank you for sharing the free resource of the book you discussed. I look forward to learning better the pivotal understandings of God’s wisdom in our distinctives. May His truths once more be understood and valued as for our good and His glory.