14 Truths About Homeschooling

Some are harder to swallow than others.

This is my quickshot list to inspire you, help you, or make you angry, depending on what type of person you are. If you’re the latter, I’m honestly not sure why you’re even here.

Some of this is common sense, once you reframe your thinking a bit.

1. You don't have to know everything yourself to teach your kids.

Curriculums these days lay out everything you need, often with videos of expert instructors. You certainly don't need a PhD to teach 3rd-grade math. There are online classes and tutors and co-ops with other parents that have different expertise.

For many subjects, reading one chapter ahead of your child is all you need to get better results than public school.

You can teach your children. They were given to you for a reason.

2. "Socialization" is a poor excuse not to homeschool.

There are co-ops, classes, churches, parks, and, most of all, siblings. "Socialization" at public school is 20-30 kids of the same age locked in a room for most of the day. That's not very social, either. They’ll usually get in trouble for talking to each other and have to ask for permission to go the bathroom.

That sounds more like a prison.

3. Homeschooling shouldn't look like a public school classroom transplanted into the home.

If it does, you're doing it wrong. Many parents discovered this truth during COVID remote schooling, which gave them the worst of public schooling with the worst of homeschooling. Kids had a set, rigid schedule, and they had to sit in front of a computer for hours.

Embrace flexibility. Take your kids to the zoo and count it as a school day. Drive to the grandparents and let them do their schoolwork in the car. Take a lot of walks. Teach during chore time. Do school 3 or 4 days per week and have long weekends.

You get to decide what “school” is based on your children’s affinities (within the limits of your state laws, of course). Martial arts, piano, art, etc.

4. You are 100% responsible for your children's success.

You have no excuses. You can't blame the school system. You can't blame their teachers. This is good and bad news. When you see what your children become, it’s all on you and that can be scary.

But the truth is that it was always on you. Public school gives a false sense of comfort. A security blanket. A fake scapegoat. It gives you a little novocaine to take away the pain of failure, but the failure is still yours.

Embrace your responsibility.

5. You don't have to be religious to homeschool.

Many people homeschool for religious reasons. That percentage may be as high as 74%. But that’s not 100%. Many families want the flexibility, or they know the government school system is failing their children and don’t have the money for a private education. The reasons to homeschool are wide and varied.

6. The two biggest qualifications for homeschooling are love and patience.

Do you love your children? That’s the first qualification, and it helps with the second qualification. You must learn patience. You must remember the frame of your children, that they are but dust, as you repeat something for the 17th time, or they get frustrated at their own incomprehension.

7. Reading to your kids every night covers a multitude of homeschooling sins.

Always be reading above their own reading level. Be fun. Do voices. Read what you like because the enthusiasm will be contagious. Don’t stop just because they get older. The benefits are vast and varied as you spend time together and build a family culture. They will learn a love of reading and stories, which will serve them in every endeavor.

Here are more reasons to make reading to your children a daily habit with a reading recommendation list.

8. With a lot of subjects, you can mix ages and just give more appropriate work based on different levels.

Teaching all ages at the same time works great for science and history. Coloring sheets for younger kids while they listen combined with deeper dives for the older kids. Same content that overlaps. Deeper dives for the older kids that is age-appropriate.

9. You don't have to plan out everything in advance.

But you can if you want. Some people have their entire month planned out, from page numbers to read to laminated sheets ready to go. Some plan out an entire semester. Some work better planning week-to-week so they remain agile. Maybe their 9-year-old had trouble with the current math lesson, so they need to spend more time on it next week.

Go with what works.

10. Homeschooling works best when the father is involved.

The mother will usually be the primary teacher, but the father shouldn’t leave it all to her. Children need men to teach them. Especially boys. The father should pick at least one subject and take total responsibility for it. It could be that he is the one who reads to them every night.

But it must be something.

11. The goal of homeschooling is NOT to get to an arbitrary finish line.

The goal of homeschooling is to raise virtuous people and foster a lifelong love of education. Racing to reach some endpoint accomplishes nothing except leaving you frazzled with children strewn in your wake at various points on the path, holding twisted ankles and scraped knees. Will they ever want to take this journey again? Is this training them to be disciplined, lifelong learners?

Focus on what’s important. Aim for progress, not perfection. Remind yourself to be flexible.

12. Homeschooling is, by definition, a domestic pursuit that can be dangerous for boys.

Make sure your sons aren’t being smothered and pacified. Your sons were born to take risks and go on adventures. The father must provide these opportunities or enlist someone who can help. A boy who is bristling and being disrespectful to his mother needs discipline, but he might need something much more. He might need to test himself on a livelier battlefield.

Another reason that a father’s involvement is so important.

13. Homeschooling isn't for everyone, but it's for a lot more people than you think.

It might even be for you. There are single mothers who homeschool. There are dual-income families that still make it work with the help of grandparents and by pushing the school day to nights and weekends. Don’t dismiss it out of hand.

14. You can get more learning done in 2 hours than public schools get done in 6 hours.

A lesson that takes 30 minutes to deliver in a public school classroom setting can take you 4 minutes at home. Not only does the quantity of instruction time go down, but the quality also goes up.

For example, it’s been shown that public school students spend an average of 16 minutes per hour “engaged,” while homeschool students spend 40 minutes per hour “engaged.”

Do not expect homeschooling to take 6+ hours per day. It should be an important part of your day but not your entire day. Remember, public school should not be your model.

If you still have questions, I wrote a guide on how to homeschool your kids in under 2 hours per day.

Have you discovered any truths about homeschooling that, in retrospect, feel like common sense?