Family life can bring moments of true sublimity, and it doesn’t take much. For those without children, descriptions of these scenes can seem mundane and confusing. What’s the big deal?
Last night we were sitting around the table for a simple meal my wife had prepared. The kids were smiling and joking and laughing at each other’s silliness. My wife joined in while proceeding to defeat each one at “Rock, Paper, Scissors.” Best 2 out of 3, of course. Outside, the sun began to dip behind the surrounding houses, preparing to paint the sky with fire.
The conversation shifted from movies to the uncertainties and excitement of the oldest learning how to drive, to what everyone wants to do on our upcoming vacation. At this point in time, at this place, there was nothing wrong with the world. I sat back and watched and listened while my heart filled up to the point of bursting. The only possible release for such an affliction is gratitude and laughter. Otherwise, you’ll explode.
What is best in life?
A full table, surrounding a meal prepared with love. There is nothing better.
If someone had come in and offered me money, power, and fame, I would have looked at him as if he were a hobgoblin with three heads, and refused. I wouldn’t have traded it for anything.
But I have traded it, temporarily, for far, far less.
In the everyday bustle of life, the everyday blessings can grow dim. We seek an escape from the mundane. A change. A shift. Writ large, you get a midlife crisis that destroys everything. On the smaller scale, you take things for granted and look forward to traveling for work more than you should. Left unexamined, it could also destroy everything.
Just a peek at the other side. Unencumbered for a week or more. Blessings still have a weight to them and still need to be carried, so we mistake them for burdens.
But as long as you keep your eyes clear, and a remnant of gratitude still sloshes around in your heart, the diversion is also the cure. For some of your co-workers, this trip, this retreat, these rich meals and free-flowing alcohol are the highlights of their lives. They have nothing to go home to. The tables can still be full of laughter, but not as deep or meaningful.
After a few days, the image of your family glistens like a fresh wound, and you long to return. You realize what you’ve been missing, and desire to miss it no longer. The ache of home, perhaps the only healthy form of nostalgia, tugs at the scab of your callousness. The inside jokes known only to a few people in the universe wrap you in a warm blanket. And you are grateful again.
In Anna Karenina, a few chapters cover Dolly, a wife and mother of many children, visiting the wealthy estate of Vronsky and Anna, the freeliving adulterous couple. On the way, Dolly is relieved to be away from her children and even etertains daydreams of wild romances, akin to Anna’s.
After spending a day in liesure and talking with Anna’s guests and “friends,” alone with her thoughts, Dolly comes to a realization. Despite the wealth and extravagance and freedom from so many earthly cares, she desires to go home a day early.
The memories of home and of her children rose up in her imagination with a peculiear charm quite new to her, with a sort of new brilliance. that world of her own seemed to her now so sweet and precious that she would not on any account spend an extra day outside…”
Such is our plight under the sun. Always forgetting and always remembering. May we not get stuck forgetting. May we always be blessed to remember.
Ecclesiastes 9:9
Enjoy life with the wife whom you love, all the days of your vain life that he has given you under the sun, because that is your portion in life and in your toil at which you toil under the sun.
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