Let’s paint a scenario. Let’s say you have told your child to stop screaming in a high-pitched voice. He does it again. You say stop again. He does it again. You say stop again. He does it again. Your blood starts boiling and you say stop again.
He screams again and your pot boils over and you explode in anger, yelling at him and maybe spanking him way too hard.
What have you taught your child?
That you are only serious when you get angry
He can continue to disobey you three to four times until he gets disciplined.
These are terrible lessons. But it’s a common lesson children the world over learn because fathers fall into this trap over and over again.
You also hate yourself because you got angry. And you’d like to enjoy being around your child instead of being annoyed all the time. The solution is simple, but the consistency required is hard. Believe me, I know.
After the first scream, tell him calmly that he is not allowed to scream like that.
When he screams a second time, calmly spank him and tell him why he was disciplined. He disobeyed the voice of his father.
That’s it. In the future, you can drop the first warning if you are sure the rule has been embedded in his skull. As soon as he screams, calmly remind him that it was disobedience and calmly spank him.
Your child will learn very quickly and you can get back to the business of life without being annoyed. Of course, don’t make up arbitrary rules that make him feel like he’s in a straightjacket. Remember their frame.
But if something is annoying to you, it’s probably annoying to other people too. You are loving your neighbor by training your child not to be annoying. Use wisdom.