When Masculinity is not Masculinity

Bravado and machismo.

There is a way to pursue masculinity that is the opposite of masculinity.

Sometimes, men want to start working toward projecting a masculine frame to communicate better that they are a man. This is a good thing. Whether it is getting stronger and fitter, learning a martial art, or going hunting, we should celebrate it.

But there is a way to take on these masculine markers that is actually a retreat from masculinity. Sometimes, a man wants to project masculinity while running from responsibility.

This is machismo. It is an aping of masculinity. If “toxic masculinity” could ever apply to anything, it would be this type of bravado.

A man starts going to the gym every day to get stronger. But really, he is avoiding his nagging wife.