Share Your Moronic Moments
Not just your victories.
Men don’t like to look foolish, especially fathers. They fear it will take away from their gravitas and authority. In the current culture, this isn’t necessarily wrong. It specializes in making fathers look foolish, oafish, and idiotic. It tears them down at any opportunity.
But men seeking to guard against this attack can lay the burden on their children instead. This comes in many forms. Some fathers may never apologize. Some may build up a picture of unending success, going from glory to glory.
Your children, especially your sons, need to know that you failed. That you were an idiot. That you were foolish. They need to know that you messed up, suffered the consequences, and then life went on.
Sooner or later, your children will find out you aren’t perfect. Better to do it on your own terms, with grace, humility, and not a little bit of humor. Don’t take yourself so seriously.
Don’t just talk about your business that thrived. Also talk about the businesses that failed.
Don’t just talk about your greatest moments playing football. Also talk about the grueling practices and the devastating defeats.
Don’t just talk about your success with women. Also talk about how you embarrassed yourself.
Don’t just talk about the good times from your childhood. Also talk about how you disappointed your parents.
Share your whole self, warts and all, so they aren’t crushed under the weight of impossible expectations. Even if you don’t explicitly set those expectations, they will be there like a looming, unconquerable mountain, casting a shadow over everything your children attempt to do.
Because your children will want to mimic you and follow you. Offer them a helping hand by showing them that the stairway isn’t as high as they imagined.
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