If you are serious about finding a wife, you need to get serious about vetting the women you date. Don’t string women along with indecision. It wastes your time, and it wastes her time.
This information is worth thousands of dollars and can save you from years of heartache. Men used to get this information from their fathers and grandfathers. No more. And so our broken culture gets worse and worse.
Vetting is not just about choosing the best woman; it is about knowing what you are getting yourself into. Are you ok with the tradeoffs? Because once you marry a woman, you have made your choice, and you are responsible.
In this episode, Noah covers what you need to look for.
Is the woman attractive? This means attractive to you. This may seem shallow at first, but it’s a deep need and is the first item for a reason. But this also means you need to work on your taste for beauty. Most men know within 10 seconds.
Do you get along with her? If, after you the first few dates, you haven’t had any fun, there’s your answer. Stop wasting time. Beyond that, create situations that simulate real life. You can dig deeper by doing tasks together. If you get along with her while painting a house, and she doesn’t complain, that’s a huge signal. Related questions: does she follow your lead, and does she try to manipulate you?
Does she have the domestic skills necessary to be a wife? Most women today don’t have these skills, but is she willing to learn? Does she have a teachable spirit? Buy her a cookbook and see if she’ll cook something for her family.
Is she a conscientious woman? This is the desire to be excellent in everything you do. You can tell this by the state of her home, but if she lives with her parents, it’s harder to find this out. The Proverbs 31 woman is a high conscientious woman.
What is her attitude towards marriage and adultery? Many will come from divorced homes, so ask her, “Why do you think your parents got divorced?” You can’t assume their attitude toward this just because they go to church.
What is her family like? Are they going to make her a better woman? Do you want to deal with a terrible mother-in-law? The woman might be fantastic enough to do this.
Will she make a good mother? How soft and feminine is she, because the softer she is, the better mother she will be. Is she interested in holding babies? Does she want children? If a woman says she doesn’t want children, what that really means is that she doesn’t want children with you. This question is last because to get to the truth, you must already have a trusting relationship with her.
How young should you get married? The better your family is supporting you, the earlier you should get married.
We also answer the time you need from the first date to popping the question. It’s probably shorter than you think.
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