33 Lessons Every Father Must Teach His Son
And you have less time than you think.
Before we start, I’m kickstarting a collection of short stories. 14 authors, including myself. 14 tales of adventure and magic, suitable for all ages. Perfect for reading aloud to your kids. Check it out.
Pithy proverbs are popular for a reason. They are easy to remember, and they can be repeated over and over. The book of Proverbs in the Bible often repeats itself. The repetition is a feature, not a bug. It should give all of us fathers encouragement that sons, throughout time, have had stubborn skulls, and it takes a constant twist of the screwdriver to finally penetrate.
But there is no greater joy than in seeing your son finally internalize a lesson you’ve been trying to teach him for years. Take heart. Have patience. Be diligent.
Here are 33 lessons to add to the rotation. Pick and choose how you see fit. If even just one of these sticks, the life of your son will be better for it.
The 33 Lessons
1. Do not gloat in victory.
Everyone already knows you have won. Gloating turns defeated opponents into lifelong enemies. Being gracious in victory creates lifelong friends. Point out something they did well, and ask how they did it.
2. Do not whine in defeat.
You will gradually get fewer and fewer invites, and you will never get better at the thing you just lost at. Every loss is a moment to learn, but if you are a sore loser, no one will want to teach you.
3. Focus on skills, not outcomes.
Skills will compound together, and eventually, the outcomes will take care of themselves. Learn to enjoy the journey. Demand excellence from yourself. Remember, anything worth doing is worth doing badly.
4. No one owes you a job.
There is no shame in seeking employment, but no one owes you anything. When people moved West, there were no jobs. But there was plenty of work. If you are willing to do the work, you get to a point where you can give other people jobs.
5. Do not be afraid to want something.
And then go after it with passion and drive. Do not listen to people who pretend not to care or remain detached from everything. That is a habit of the mediocre. They are afraid to fail. This world needs men with holy ambition.